Barely 40: Thong Truth

Jacqueline Wells

thongIt’s no secret that things change as we get older. So let’s be honest with ourselves about thongs. The thongs that we wore in our twenties and thirties aren’t as cute on our forty year old tooshies.

Think back to when you bought your first thong. Your companion probably mentioned something about them being really sexy. Or maybe you saw one on a mannequin in a lingerie shop and thought maybe there is something to those skimpy things. You got them home, put them on and, even if they didn’t look fantastic, you convinced yourself they did. You went back to the store, bought one in every color and wore the “special” pair on a date you were really looking forward to, because, well, you never know.

I had myself convinced they were comfortable. I had myself convinced that everyone wore them and thought they were hot. Until I had the unfortunate mishap of putting them on in the dark..backwards. That, my friends, is not fun.

That same week I was out with a few co-workers and saw a woman sitting at a table with her thong hanging out of her low rise jeans. I went up to her and discretely told her the situation (I mean I would want someone to say something to me.) You might think she would go to the bathroom to discreetly take care of the whale tail situation. Nope, she put her hands on the fins of those things and shoved them down further into her jeans. I’m not kidding. Oh, I can hear you now, there are no panty line problems when you wear a thong! Yes, that is true, you can make that argument all day. What I’ll say about that is cellulite happens ladies, just think about it.

The good news is that there are different options that are (in my opinion) just as sexy and more comfortable than thongs and no, I’m not talking granny panties.

What is your favorite thong alternative?